My <sort of> mantra of the day.
How are you, friends? How goes your Monday? Mine was good, and it’s probably going to end with The Following on binge-watch and that’s even good-er so YAY.
I feel like we need to immediately address the elephant in the room here which is the fact that I broke up with the Whole 30. Kind of. Can we say it’s complicated? It’s very, very complicated.
Backing up: Week 1 Whole 30 was cake. I was prepped and psyched and feeling good and still flying high on motivation and 30 days isn’t that long right? The weekend sucked but I survived and Week 2 was even better than Week 1 because FOCUS! CLEAR MIND! ACCOMPLISHMENTS! I was getting shiz done and it was just all sorts of awesome. Seriously, my productivity was through the roof and it was grand.
And then the weekend.
And Week 3.
And it wasn’t so fun anymore. Which I knew was coming! But it really wasn’t fun any more. And all the awesome effects and reasons I started the Whole 30 (fall asleep more easily! wake up rested! lower anxiety!) were NO WHERE to be found. I knew I had lost weight and maybe even inches and my skin looked super clear but I had zilch in the energy department and my anxiety was through. the. damn. roof.
I started Whole 30 with high anxiety. I just have high anxiety. It comes in waves but it’s just a reality and I deal with the fact that not knowing what I’m going to order at dinner when we eat at a new restaurant can send me into a fit of hysteria. It’s fine. I cope. But Whole 30 took my coping and set it on fire. Stuff that never used to give me anxiety had me in a tail spin. Going to the movies. Meeting friends after work. Grocery shopping. I love grocery shopping. But this is grocery shopping on the Whole 30:
Stick to the outside aisles! they said. Don’t go during prime free sample time! they said. It didn’t matter. I really only ever shop the outside aisles, and Hyvee at 9 on a Friday night is my idea of a good time, and it didn’t matter. Everything was awful. It was like being in a pitch black tunnel and there’s not even a light at the end. People keep saying there’s a light but there’s NOT A LIGHT.
And when I hit Day 15 it was even worse! People just kept telling me how awesome I was doing and how I was halfway and half done and that just made me freak out more because GUESS WHAT? Halfway done with a marathon is still A REALLY FREAKING LONG WAYS. All I could think of when people said that was that everrrrrrrr.y.thang I just did I just had to do it all over again! Except without all the fun newness!
And that was when I decided I was done.
I’m so glad I did the Whole 30 for 17 days. I learned a lot. But I was not prepared for the mental part of Whole 30. I was blindsided. And I did a lot of research! I just had no idea. I don’t know if my anxiety made it worse, or if I am just a giant baby, but it was tough. I have mad props to anyone who can do a full 30 days because wow. Wow.
But, back to what I learned. SO MUCH. You guys, there is added sugar in everything. EVERYTHING. There is added sugar in my garlic salt. Because that makes sense? No. I’ll be a lot more aware of that going forward when I do my grocery shopping and label reading.
Also? I’m pretty sure I have a massive dairy allergy. Color me surprised. Intolerance, sure, I somewhat expected to come away from this with a realization that gluten and dairy weren’t my BFFs, but I did not expect what I have found out since Post Whole 30 Day 1. I will spare you the details because I still want to be friends and don’t want you to run away screaming but yeah. Dairy and I have to break up. I’m still coming to terms with this because cheese.
Ready for a twist? I’m kind of back on Whole 30 today. Masochistic? Maybe. But like I said, I learned a lot and the biggest take away was that physically I felt better on Whole 30. Not like I could lift a car or anything but my physical appearance definitely improved, even if it was just me who noticed it (see ya later, under eye bags). For the most part, my head was clear. My puffiness and bloating, while not completely gone, was lightyears less and I lost about 5 lbs. while I was following all dem rules. My before and after photos are pretty freaking cool, and I felt damn good in my leggings, which whether you agree with them as pants or not is still saying something.
So will I be following Whole 30 like I did before (for 17 days)? Probably not. I can really see myself doing it pretty hard core during week days, and I’ll definitely keep a few of the meals in rotation. I’ll probably do some more experimenting with dairy to find out if it’s all dairy that wigs me out, or if certain things are worse. And I’ll probably do some more testing with gluten too to see if it’s safe. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be as hardcore as I was before because of the mind games. But…never say never.
Part of me is bummed I didn’t make it 30 days, mostly just because I wanted to say I did :) But I’m happy with a Whole 17, at least for now, because I totally accomplished what I wanted to. I found out there are certain foods that are causing me issues, and that when my diet is pretty cleaned up I have abs. It definitely does start with food!
If you were thinking about a Whole 30, don't let me stop you. I still totally believe it can change your life, especially if you're in need for a healthy reset. It's eye-opening!
Have you done a Whole 30? How did it go?